Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Am I Really Happy?

Years ago, I went to woman who does past life regressions. She led me through the process and then proceeded to inform me that I met the Rat Bastard in every life (the Rat Bastard is another story for another time.) She said that in my past lives he killed me. But, that in every life, I got smarter and I got away from him quicker. She said it was only in my recent lives that I survived him. Well, in this life, I think I did okay. And I think maybe in my next life I won't marry RB but that I'll be savvy enough to see him for what he is ahead of time.

The point of this is that finally, in these past few days, I feel like I'm beyond the RB. I feel like the black pallor that he cast over me has lifted and that I am finally moving on and becoming the person I am meant to be. That's not to say that I have it all figured out, but that is to say that I think I'm finally happy. I'm excited to start my day. I'm excited about what the future holds for both my professional and my personal life. I'm excited to work out (*gasp*) and that truly is a miracle. I love who I am and how I look and feel. I can do better, but I also feel like "better" is finally within my reach.

While some of you may say it has to do with the man. I don't think so. I am happy about how I am navigating this situation as well. I am proud of myself for not falling in head first and that I'm weighing the pros and cons of it all. I am pleased that I am taking my time and not immediately kissing everyone off. I am smiling because I am still going out and having fun and enjoying myself while I put this possible relationship on the middle burner and patiently wait to see what happens.

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