Monday, September 21, 2009

I'm a star! I have follower!

So I signed on today to see that I have one follower! Woo-Hoo! That is exciting...

I know I probably won't ever have any more....but since this is more cathartic than anything else, that's okay.


Bachelor #1: Still in the game. We spent a full twenty-four hours together. And apparently I snore loud enough to wake the dead. (Thanks, Dad, for those genes.) I had a great time and get your minds out of the gutter because that did not happen! It was so nice to just be with someone. Do dumb things like go to Target and Home Depot together...He is growing on me....

Bachelor #4 is still making me smile. He is a wonderful combination of witty and sensitive and keeps me on my toes yet understands when I'm too tired to parry very well.

Bachelor #5 is full of you-know-what. We finally talked on Friday and after I apologized for jumping the gun and was all contrite. He was all, "I'm sorry and I'll call you..." and NOTHING. Not one call this weekend. I'm just shaking my head wondering why he even bothered. He was hiding online today and I just ended up deleting his info once and for all....what a twit!

There is no Bachelor #6 on the horizon...don't get me wrong...there are plenty of men calling, but I just don't see one that is worthy of the title, or the brain power at this moment.

So I'm going on a trip this weekend...and I'm thinking that I should be bad. I should be enlightened and sleep with some random guy and get over myself...I should go to a bar and be the sexiest self I can be and just hook up....


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Crazy is as Crazy does......

Okay, so today I feel certifiable.

Bachelor #5 has thrown me for a loop...not really, but this whole dating thing has thrown me for a loop. I do so much better when I am not trying to date. When I am just on my own, being myself and doing my own thing. The problem is that when I am doing that, I don't meet anyone. I'm so absorbed in getting done what I need to get done that I'm not being social.

And I worried. I have this cousin who is finally married, but while she was looking she screamed desperation. She would run off men with the palpable need to hurry up and get I doing that? God help me if I am. Because it is not that I want to get married...I just want someone I can count on, someone to share my life with and to be able to talk to at the end of the day...blah, blah, blah....I've talked about all that before.

So why is it, when you establish the rules of the game between two people, you still have to play the game? When you both admit up front that you are lonely and want someone to spend your life with and that you are looking for the same end result. When you establish that you have compatible outlooks on life and the same values and the same ideas about family and home, that distance is not an issue but something to be worked out does the woman still have to do the cat and mouse thing?

I just want someone accountable, someone who does what they say they are going to do when they say there are going to do it. I need my grounding rod so that when I have days like today, there is a calm in the storm I can go back to....

This sucks and I wonder if I am really as crazy as I think I am today.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Oh What a Beautiful Mooooorrrrrrnnnnniiiiing!

So last night I got home around 10:00 o'clock and still had tons of work to do. I told myself that I would just take a little nap on the couch and ended up falling asleep until 6:00 AM. It is amazing what a good night's sleep will do! I woke up refreshed and happy and ready to face the world. I finished my work by 8:00 AM and now I'm contemplating what else I should do.

See while, it is a fantastic morning, I still can't figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

So how do I get there? How do I figure out what I can do to make use of my multitude of talents while not growing bored? I've been working for myself, but it's simply not pulling in the income I need to settle the debts I've accrued.

I know that I should just suck it up and take something; but after all these years, I've figured out that I don't really need alot to be happy and I don't really want to acquire a bunch of material possessions. I just want to be happy and fulfilled in what I am doing.

Any suggestions?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Dating age

Well, I know no one is reading this, but I'm back!

After two weeks in bed with pneumonia I am finally functioning again, definitely at reduced capacity, but functioning. I have never been one to just veg and watch TV, but I have discovered that being robbed of all energy is the key to that skill! I have watched more TV in the past two weeks than I have watched in the past two years. I feel somewhat brain dead, but ready to start tackling life once more!

Update on my exciting dating life...

Bachelor #1: Still around. He has moved about a mile away and is asking me for decorating and picture handing ideas. We talk almost every day but I still haven't been won over.

Bachelor #3: Gone for good. This is what I detest about dating. We had two great dates and great conversations and then poof! He disappears. There was no warning, no phone call, nothing, just a vanishing act. This is just rude! I guess that lands him squarely in the jerk category. I'm sorry, but there is such a thing as common courtesy and apparently he lacks it.

Bachelor #4: Still entertaining me with witty repartee. We talk about four or five nights a week online and can go for hours without getting bored.

Bachelor #5 is a new entry into the world of this madness and he seems to be jumping in with both feet. He lives quite a distance away and we met online. He has already put on the table that he is tired of being alone, wants a partner, is willing to move and will come to me when we are ready to meet. We have literally spent 20 hours talking via phone and what is that like, five dates? I am skeptical, but so far we seemed pretty well matched.

Tonight was girls night. There was a group of us talking about all the things that women discuss and of course, but the end of the evening we left our lofty topics and digressed to men, sex, men, dating and men.

One woman in the group said that she thought that every relationship that you have reduces your dating age. For example, say that you date someone seriously for seven years and then you break up. You were 21 when you started and 28 by the time you ended things; however, your current dating age is 21. So if you take that into account, is my dating age 30? Is that why I'm generally attracted to younger men?